COPING IN CRISIS: Riding the waves of change
I have been coaching a number of headteachers recently, as well as reflecting on my own journey through the current lockdown. Through these experiences I have discovered three key messages that can support us through crisis.
Firstly, look after yourself foremost.
Headteachers and senior leaders are often the most selfless people, putting the needs of staff, families and children before their own constantly being productive and supportive. However, this creates problems. If we ignore our own needs, we end up feeling emotional and physically exhausted. In the long run, it will mean we are not able be the best leader people need us to be.
I am not talking about being selfish, it is about applying some self-care. You have heard of the oxygen mask analogy. In times of crisis this is even more important. We cannot have the stamina or strength to support others if we haven't built our emotional and physical capacity by looking out for ourselves.
In order to do this, we need to remember the simple things about self-care. A good night's sleep, the right food choices and regular exercise will build our emotional and physical wellbeing. We also need to be notice if we are not feeling great, if we are over-tired, feeling low or just feeling lost that we need to apply kindness to ourselves. In any crisis we will all be feeling a range of emotions, and that is OK. It is OK to feel grief through the loss of our communities, our routines and our everyday freedom. Let's not dismiss these emotions, let us experience them, understand and accept them.
I know, we are all suffering with a deluge of emails, government guidance, media and endless virtual meeting requests. There are ways of managing this but we need to be compassionate enough to ourselves to say 'no' to some requests, to schedule time with no meetings or take longer breaks to recoup our energy.
If we are healthy and well rested we can be there for our communities when they need us most. How will you recognise what you need today?
Secondly, apply compassion everywhere.
Compassionate leaders view the growth and development of the people they lead and the communities they serve as the great makers of their success. The key, and the challenge, is to set aside your judgements, opinions and stories. This is the toughest part of your job as a leader. Can you listen wide open? Compassion happens in that listening space . People are all learning and doing the best they can in this crisis. If they had something more to offer, they would most certainly offer it. Meet your colleagues, schools and families where they are.
Compassion is asking 'How are you?' and then asking 'How are you, really?' and then listening deeply to really appreciate that person. How are you seeking to understand the perspectives, motivations and roadblocks of your team members?
Currently everyone our community will be experiencing the current crisis. Our colleagues, families and children will all have different perspectives and we will have to adapt to meet their needs from where they are.
Finally, take it step-by-step.
We are all overwhelmed with information during this crisis, with a significant amount of news being very conflicting. Spending too much time analysing what might be is taxing. Ruminating on the 'what ifs?' of half classes returning, social distancing in lunch halls and only having 10 close family members we can contact is not a helpful. We can help ourselves by limiting our media usage and working focusing our attention on the here and now. Taking each day at a time, and being present either through mindfulness or meditation, and ensuring our focus is on the things we can control.
We cannot plan for the unknown, what we can do is remember that the current situation won't last forever and we will find a new 'normal' and it will be OK.
If you need a confidential space to reflect, explore and create, I am still offering a free coaching session, with my associates until the end of May 2020. You can book your session here:
https://www.thethinkingacademy.co.uk/online-coaching
I am also starting a free weekly short vlog next Monday which will share models, tools and techniques for maintaining your well-being.
If you'd like to receive the link the vlog click here. Please feel free to share with colleagues who may find it useful.
If there is any other way I can support you or your school community please do not hesitate to get in touch.